11.04.09
A Story of Burn Out and Restoration
Are you feeling like you are burning the candle at both ends and you don’t really know how to stop? Do you feel guilty by taking an evening off to be with your family because you had to say “No” to someone in the church? Do you feel like you are spiritually exhausted and feel that God may be a little distant? If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, please take a moment to click here to read and listen to the story of Blake’s journey through Burn Out and his restoration! Blake serves as one of the Campus Pastors at Crosspoint Community Church in Nashville, TN!
This video represents God’s provision in a time of brokenness for my family. We have been wounded very bad by church leaders. However, this is the way that I view this now, “if God is working on my character and He is doing a redemptive discipline in my life…then who cares how bad the circumstances are.” Seriously…if the God of the Universe is taking the time to work on my heart…then why would it matter how uncomfortable it might be. It’s kind of like going to the dentist…in order to remove the plaque…he is going to have to drill…and nobody likes to have drills in their mouths!!
Thanks Blake for sharing and being authentic about your journey in ministry! So, how is your journey going? Do you need to reach out for help or how has God restored you on the journey? Share your story so others may be encouraged that they are not alone! How do you create balance in your life?
04.01.09
Pastors and Depression
Depression is a real thing, but most people believe that the words pastor and depression do not go together. Sad to say, this is an impression that forces most pastors and their family members into denial or complete seclusion. Most pastors and their family members feel they can’t admit to having difficulties, especially depression. Here is the true story of what happened to one of my friends who experienced the realities of depression and how he was able to get help.
I thought I was going to die. I felt like I had fallen into a dark pit and couldn’t get out. I had no emotions. I couldn’t laugh…I couldn’t feel any joy…I didn’t care about anything. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t want to go outside, and I couldn’t stand even the slightest noise. Even a spoon hitting the side of a plate made me want to scream. I felt like a zombie. I wasn’t myself. It was like I was stuck in a bad dream and couldn’t get out. (excerpt from blog post of Dale Hudson!)
Thanks Dale for giving us great insight to the real side of pastors and clinical depression. Maybe you have gone through the journey and can be an encouragement to some other pastor on the journey or maybe you need someone outside your church to help you or your family member. Let us know! Make sure you remember, you are not alone and there is help!
01.13.09
Joy or Conflict…What Do You Bring to the Office?
As the Holiday season was blowing in around the Smith household, we noticed that with all the stress, activity, and undue pressures there was another spirit blowing in…a spirit with a little attitude…conflict! Yep, the Smith family is like any other family, we sometimes have conflict. So in the midst of our conflict, Hollye and I decided to address it. We called a “Family Meeting” and said, “Okay, individually we are either bringing Joy or Conflict to this family…which one are you bringing?” We decided that night as a family we would commit to ask ourselves that question every time we had a disagreement or when things didn’t go our way…”Are we bringing joy or conflict to the family?”
It really was pretty funny to hear our two children about to get into a major argument and little man asked his Big sis…”Joy or Conflict?” Don’t you love it when kids get it? I can’t say that ended all of our conflicts but it sure helped! Our hearts desire is to have a home where there is peace so we try as much as we can to be intentional in the process.
Now what about your Small Group Team or Office…Do you bring joy or conflict to your team? or your marriage, or your home, or even your workplace? What are YOU bringing to the table? God tells us to try to live peaceably with all people. The key word is “TRY”. You are responsible for your part not for anybody else. So here is the challenge…in 2009, try to bring JOY to every place that you enter. Leave the conflict at the door!
What are some ways that you remind yourself to choose a life of joy? Hope you have a wonderful week!
12.17.08
Christmas Family Survival Kit
Having trouble with the family during the Holiday season? Click on the picture below and check out the products that can help you survive the Christmas gathering!
You can check out some other videos by Justin HERE!
10.27.08
Dead Man Stands!
Have you checked this out? I am usually not a morbid person but whenever I saw this, I just could not resist! Have you ever stood beside a casket and people say “He looks so good!” I think this is taking that a little too far! He is actually just propped up in the corner with some flowers in front of him. (Hey, he actually doesn’t look too bad!) Anyway, a Puerto Rican man has been granted his wish to remain standing — even in death. It got me thinking…yeah, I know it shouldn’t inspire me, but in leadership we are always challenged to “take a stand” and most of the time we think of taking a stand for all the wrong reasons.
Here are some of my personal Leadership Blurbs (or burps?) in my story:
I should have…
· Cheated the church and not my family. My first opportunity to be the Lead Pastor and I was going to do it right! Even at the cost of my family. I do plead ignorance and don’t blame anyone but myself. The church had doubled in size in only a year and a half, baptisms and new converts were up, the offering was flowing in and I just knew it was because of all my hard work. This starry eyed new Lead Pastor would kiss his beautiful bride and two wonderful children goodbye while they were still sleeping in the morning and I would kiss them good night after they had already falling asleep at night. I had a wise mother and father who told me ”They (the church) won’t love you any more and they (the church) won’t love you any less, but your family won’t even know who you are and your greatest accomplishment will be your greatest tragedy.” Now that will get your attention, and it did!
· Tried to please God rather than the 5 disgruntled people. One of my favorite Bible verses now is Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do; do it for the Lord and not for men.” I am not advocating being a jerk to people; I am just saying usually you as the leader will only hear the disgruntled few. Please God and He will take care of the people.
· Stuck it out! Don’t Quit Too Early! How many times have we counseled couples to not give up on their marriage? Wait it out! That is very good advice most of the time, but I found myself ready to quit too early. My dad told me one time during a very difficult season in ministry, “You didn’t think it would be easy, did you?” I have never forgotten that question. Anything worthwhile is not going to come easy, and no, working with the lives of people is not going to be a playground. It is a battlefield! But it sure is worth it if we stick it out! If you move jobs just because you are running from the problems, remember this statement, “Same problems; just different faces!” If God called you to it, He will complete it. Please, just give Him a chance! Don’t Quit!
· Worried less about things I could not change. There is a statistic that reveals that 99% of what we worry about is things we have no control over or things that will never happen! I still catch myself falling into the trap of worry. I read a story one time about a guy who would literally act as if he were laying his problems on a bush outside of his front door so he would not take his worries or problems inside with him to his family. I have tried to make it a habit to lay my worries down and not to pick them back up!
· Followed the relationship instead of the rules. Everything is not black and white. Listen before you speak on this one. Many times I have had to make decisions that would affect the lives and families of people in the ministry. If I could share any wisdom on this point, give grace where grace can be given. Pastors and leaders have to make tough calls, but make sure your decision is the best decision for the person and their families, as well as the people they serve. Rule of thumb for me is…if in doubt…Don’t! God is a God of peace not the author of confusion. Wait on His peace!
· Taken a “TECHNO BREAK”. Yes, we live in the age of technology and it is stealing the time of many leaders. Don’t get me wrong, I love that we can blog, e-mail, instant message each other, and stay connected to others in leadership and in ministry. Don’t let it steal the most precious moments with your children and your spouse. Work at work and play at home! It is not worth trading your family for the popularity of others. Don’t quit using technology, just take a break from it and spend time with your kids and your spouse. Many PK’s have chosen to bypass the church and the ministry because it stole their dad/mom away from the family! If you loose your family, you have no ministry!
These are a few of the things in ministry that I have chosen to take a stand on! I still struggle with a few of these but I am trying to have a better balance in my role as a leader. I know these may differ from your list but it does get us thinking about some of the leadership mistakes that we have made and some of the things we should take a stand on. If we can be better leaders of our lives, then we can be better leaders of others.
What are some leadership “burps” that have been a part of your story?
08.30.08
To Blog or Not to Blog!
Blog! Blog! Blog! That seems to be the “Buzz” word now. Either you have to have a You Tube account, a Facebook account, and then you have to see how many friends you can get. I have really tried to stay out of the blogging arena if for nothing else…I just don’t seem to have the time. But a friend of mine convinced me that I could save time and help develop leaders through “Blogging”. So here I am in Blog City. Anyway, let me take a few moments and answer why I have chosen to Blog for our Small Group Ministry:
1.) Leaders can access Training Videos that can sharpen a Leader’s Skills.
2.) Leaders can browse recommended and new study curriculum and give their feedback.
3.) Leaders can actually find specific topics that may be of interest to them.
4.) Books and resources can be recommended and rated.
5.) Leaders can share their ideas and others can chime in.
6.) Leaders can read about their roles and responsibilites.
7.) Learn about upcoming events.
8.) We can learn from each other, stay in close communication, and experience this journey together!
Well, there are a few of the reasons that I have chosen to Blog! We are currently in the early constructive stages, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know! Have a great day!
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