Remember Elvis’ Blue Christmas?  For many pastors and their spouse, the holiday season brings several unexpected and most of the time unwanted opportunities to put extra stress on our marriages.  Unwelcomed family guests, overtime at work, loss of a job, empty bank account, Christmas parties, service planning, shopping, cleaning, cooking, Christmas cards to write, plans to make and did I mention your undivided attention to your spouse, kids and the church members?  Are you stressed out yet?  During all of the extra activities and Holiday demands, many couples will become overwhelmed and this could cause some major damage to your relationship if not handled properly.  So how do you survive or how should we respond to the extra stresses that your marriage may experience during this Christmas season?  Here are a few suggestions that may help you and your spouse survive:

• Spend time alone with God:  Set aside some time to spend alone with God.  Spending just 10 minutes alone, without distractions, may allow you time to refocus and be refreshed in His presence. 
• Take a Prayer Walk together:  Getting out of the house and taking a walk together will allow you the opportunity to talk to one another and also allow you the opportunity to pray together for the things that may be a stress to your relationship during this season. 
• Stay Connected:  Many times the holiday season is the loneliest time of the year for many people.  Make sure you stay connected to your spouse, your family, your Small Group, your Church and your friends.  They can offer support and friendship during these times.  Also, consider volunteering in the community. Getting involved and helping others outside the church can lift your spirits and broaden your friendships. Also, enlist support for organizing your church holiday gatherings, as well as meal preparation and cleanup. You don’t have to do it alone.
• Accept Change:  As your family grows and your children marry and have families of their own, the traditions that you are accustomed to may change.  Be flexible and look for new ways that you can connect with your family and friends.  Maybe the kids and the family cannot join you at your house for the holiday festivities.  Be creative and think of another way that all the family can enjoy the season.  I have a sister who lives in a foreign country and another sister who just recently passed away.  Christmas is definitely going to be different but our family is honoring the memory of my sister but doing some of her favorite traditions and we use SKYPE to connect with my other sister online.  Christmas traditions are what YOU make it!  Expect change and accept it.
• Stick to your budget:  Before you do all of your shopping, you and your spouse should make a budget.  Once you have your budget, stick to it!  During this economic crisis, remember, you may need to be creative in your gift planning.  It is okay to cut back this year!  Haven’t you noticed…everyone is doing it!  One of the things we are doing is not sending out the traditional Christmas card.  This will save you several dollars.  The alternate way to send Holiday greetings is by email!  It is more practical and will cost way less money!
• Try the acceptance rule:   Try to accept family, friends, and your church members as they are. Practice forgiveness. Set aside your differences until a more appropriate time for discussion. With stress and activity levels high, the holidays might not be the best time for making quality time for relationships. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something doesn’t go as planned. Many times they are feeling the effects of holiday stress, too.
• Have a Plan:  And try to stick by the plan!  You have to learn to say “No” sometimes.  In your plan, please make sure you have time scheduled to rest and enjoy the company of your spouse.  If you do not plan for it, you probably will not do it!
• Have FUN!  Christmas is a time of the year we celebrate the birth of Christ our Savior.  Go see the lights, play with the kids, and go to at least one of the Christmas Eve services together, but don’t forget to celebrate what the true meaning of Christmas is!  Have fun in the midst of what may be a very hectic time of the year!  Always remember, there will be only one…Christmas 2008! 
• Ask for Help. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling consistently sad or anxious, feeling despair, unable to sleep, and experiencing a sense of hopelessness. If these feelings last for several weeks, talk to your mentor, doctor or seek out a Christian counselor. You may be experiencing depression.  Yep, pastors and their families are not exempt from depression!

Remember, one key to minimizing holiday stress and depression is realizing that God is always near and whatever sense of anxiety you may be experiencing, He is always there to walk you through it.  I love the verse that says…”When we are weak; He is strong.”  Accept that things aren’t always going to go as you planned; then take active steps to help enjoy the Christmas season together.  What are some ways that you deal with the Christmas blues?